A Healthier Holiday Table

We all know we are supposed to eat more vegetables, and fewer refined grains and sugars, right?  At least I do, but the challenge remains doing so in an easy and delicious way.  Especially when one is cooking for children.  I have one child who wants to be a vegetarian, prefers rice milk over dairy, and eats every single fruit and vegetable you can imagine (with the notable, and random, exception of avocados).  I have another child who eats only meats, cheese, and yogurt, and who eschewed all fruits and vegetables (including such favorites as raisins and apple sauce) until he was 6 and I lowered the boom.  At 6 he had literally never had a fruit or vegetable.  He is almost 8 now, and his repertoire remains limited.  He eats – exclusively, but voraciously – lettuce, spinach, chard, arugula, and kale.  I am not complaining about his intake of greens, but I do wish he would sometimes eat an apple or a potato!

I am a casual cook, and an inexpert one.  I learned from my mother, who is one of this world’s great cooks and entertainers, that the kitchen is not a place for angst.  Unfortunately I lack her talent, so the results aren’t as spectacular, but at least there isn’t a lot of hand-wringing.  I don’t really use recipes very often, and when I do I am haphazard with such things as measuring.  As a result of these biases, I don’t have a single holiday recipe to share.  Instead I have three of my standard vegetable and fruit preparations, each of which is in constant rotation and has become a favorite of my children.  I hope they may help you get a fruit or vegetable into your children soon!

Homemade tomato sauce:

In a large saucepan saute a couple of cloves of sliced garlic in olive oil.  Once it is browned but not burnt, add tomatoes.  In the summer, I use tomatoes from the farmer’s market (to remove skin: make an X in the skin on the bottom, drop into boiling water for 30 seconds, remove, and peel the skin) coarsely chopped.  Maybe 8 big tomatoes.  The rest of the year, I use one big can of San Marzano whole tomatoes, including the liquid.  Add some basil leaves, if you have them, and a sprinkle of kosher salt.  Saute for about 15-20 minutes on medium heat, stirring occasionally.  Once this has cooled, I whir it in the blender for 10 seconds (chunks in tomato sauce being the kiss of death for Whit).  We use it for pasta, for pizza, for occasional dipping.  I always have a glass container of this in the fridge.

Kale salad:

Cut some washed kale (I prefer lacinato, but any will do) into very thin strips. Almost shredded.  In the bottom of a salad bowl mix 2 T of fresh lemon juice, 1/4 C olive oil, and 2 crushed garlic clothes.  Toss the kale in this mixture and let it sit for 30 minutes or longer.  In the meantime, toast some whole wheat breadcrumbs (such a good way to use up the ends of the loaf!) until crunchy and browned.  When it’s time to eat, put the breadcrumbs onto the kale and add some shaved parmesan or pecorino (use a vegetable peeler for long, skinny shreds) on top and toss.  Whit adores this.

Homemade apple sauce:

Peel and core as many apples as you can stand.  Mixture of types is great.  Chop into quarters (approximately) and put into a Le Creuset or similar oven-safe large pot with a snug-fitting lid.  Put the pot in the oven at 350 and let it cook for about an hour.   Check it, and once the apples are mostly broken down, stir well until all chunks are gone.  Bonus: this makes your house smell delicious.  Is a good thing to make after an apple-picking excursion leaves you swimming in bowls of fruit.  And also a good way to use up old or bruised apples.

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I am delighted to be participating in the American Cancer Society’s A Healthier Holiday Table effort.  A few pieces of advice from the American Cancer Society about eating more healthfully, in this season and always, follow.  The links are full of useful and practical ways to make changes we all know we should make!

·         Maintaining a healthy weight can reduce your risk of many types of cancer. Here are ideas on how to eat healthy and get active.

·         Did you know that eating lots of fruits and vegetables can help reduce your cancer risk? The American Cancer Society recommends eating at least 2½ cups of vegetables and fruits each day. Here are two resources filled with ideas for upping your fruit and vegetable consumption through the day.

·         Choose whole grains instead of refined grain products. Here are some innovative ways to add more vegetables, fruits, and whole grains to your day while watching your refined carbohydrates, sugar, and fat intake.

·         Limit how much processed meat and red meat you eat. Some studies have linked eating large amounts of processed meat to increased risk of colorectal and stomach cancers.

·         Drink no more than 1 drink per day for women or 2 per day for men. Alcohol raises the risk of cancers of the mouth, pharynx (throat), larynx (voice box), esophagus, liver, breast, and the colon and rectum.

·         Stock your kitchen with a variety of foods that you can throw together for healthy meals in a hurry. Keep these foods on hand for fast meals on busy nights.

More things I love lately

Gratitude on an ordinary night – Allison Slater Tate’s gorgeous love letter to her 10 1/2 year old son, saturated with her awareness of all that is already over, spoke to the core of my bruised, overflowing mother’s heart.  Yes, I wish I’d known Allison when we were going through pregnancy together (we went to college together, but did not connect until years later), but I’m even more grateful that I know her now, as we careen into these years of mothering tweens together.

Homeland – You know I don’t want TV.  I made an exception for Homeland, and wow am I glad I did.  I bought the first season on DVD and Matt and I watched it in 3 days.  We then upgraded our cable (don’t watch TV = basic cable package) so that we have Showtime and can watch the second season.  I am obsessed.  This is brilliant, compulsively-watchable drama, full of both geo-political intrigue and profoundly human characters.  I can’t recommend it enough.

Tiny Home – I love this ode from Kate Conner to her small house.  We too live in a small house, and I relate to so many of the things Kate says.  My house keeps me honest and it keeps me neat.  It overflows with memories; it is the only house my husband and I have ever lived in, and while we sometimes wish we had more space or a bigger yard, it really is all that we need, and I like the lesson that provides for our children as well.

Somewhere Else – I am a huge Stacy Morrison fan, and this is one of my favorite posts of her always-thoughtful, always-beautiful writing.  There is so much I love about her writing: her deep desire to see meaning in the universe, the way she can’t help witnessing and noticing beauty even in moments of dark despair, her love of Rilke and words, and her support of women making their way in the world.  In another post she wrote this sentence, which brought me to my knees with its glorious truth: “It’s the humble moments that possess the majesty.”

Glimmering Moments of Beauty – This gorgeous piece by Jana of An Attitude Adjustment was profoundly resonant for me.  I love hearing that others are also routinely stopped in their tracks by the startling beauty of this world, and always appreciate the reminder to stay open to them.

The Happy Hour Effect

I am delighted to be participating in a blog tour to celebrate the release of Kristen Brown’s book, The Happy Hour Effect: 12 Secrets to Minimize Stress and Maximize Life.  Kristen, an author, entrepreneur, certified health coach, mother, and widow, has written an practical guide to reducing stress and increasing joy.  Her book includes actionable steps, inspirational quotes, expert interviews, and anecdotes which together provide an appealing and specific approach to change our lives now.

We are hurtling headlong into a season that many find taxing and overwhelming.  Last year a dear friend asked me for advice on how to reduce what felt like immense mayhem and pressure around the holidays.  Though I have made changes in my own life to try to protect this season as one of peace and reflection, the truth is I was at a loss for what to say.  Thankfully Kristen has written a short piece with 10 instant holiday stress busters.  I am happy to share this pragmatic advice here.

10 Instant Holiday Stress Busters

The holiday season is upon us and with it comes gift-giving, entertaining, parties, kids’ events, travel and weather issues, emotional overload and many other stressors that can overload us. As a widow mom, entrepreneur, writer and speaker on all things work/life harmony and stress management-related, I have pulled together 10 of the most simple, effective ways to reduce the symptoms of holiday stress (or everyday stress). Each one takes just seconds to do and they have been scientifically-proven to help our bodies and minds function more effectively! In moments you will feel less anxiety and more balance with some nice health benefits as a bonus. Check out the list and try each one when holiday craziness overcomes you.

  1. Breathe deeply.
  2. Spend time with your kids.
  3. Do something nice for someone else.
  4. Sip green tea and grab a healthy snack.
  5. Take a walk or run.
  6. Take a nap.
  7. Play with your pet.
  8. Meditate.
  9. Hug someone.
  10.  Let it go and walk away.

Another tip that deserves its own mention is to put yourself in others’ shoes. Would you rather receive a gift card or a gift you don’t want no matter how thoughtful? Would you rather enjoy a laid back holiday party or a super-formal gathering? Do you prefer simple, traditional decorations or over-the-top glitz? Do you want your kids to value human connection and the spirit of the holidays or to learn self-indulgent materialism and over-the-top spending? Once you realize that your stress may be caused by over-complicating something that should be about peace, joy and love, you and your loved ones will be much happier and healthier too!

Kristen K. Brown is a bestselling and award-winning author, widow mom, speaker and founder of Happy Hour Effect. Check out her books “The Best Worst Thing” and “The Happy Hour Effect: 12 Secrets to Minimize Stress and Maximize Life” at www.HappyHourEffect.com.

The Five Most Beautiful Things Project

I was instantly smitten and moved when I read about Jen’s Five Most Beautiful Things Project.  What she says about the essential human need for beauty, and the power of waking up to realize that it is all around us, moved me deeply.  Jen asks, what if we walked around looking for beauty instead of looking for things to be stressed about or offended by?   She then challenges everyone to write down the 5 most beautiful things around them once an hour, and challenges her readers to make this effort, this active engagement with the outright gorgeousness of our lives, go viral.

I love this idea, and it speaks to me on a very deep level.

The search for the poetry that exists in every day life is one of the central tasks of my life.  I’ve written endlessly about this, about the beauty that’s exposed when we lean into our lives, about the phosphorescently-bright moments of joy that streak days of monotonous, often mundane activity.  It took looking closely at the weave of the fabric of my life for me to see the glint of that thread of meaning, of gorgeousness.  It’s there.  I promise you, it’s there.  And it manifests, this beauty, in a thousand different ways, every single day.

Paying attention – the only real advice I have for writing and, in fact, for life – helps us see the shimmer of the sacred even in our most ordinary hours.  There is real power in deliberately celebrating the beauty in our lives.  For me, at least, the act of noticing and honoring this holiness has been nothing short of transformational.  There is plenty of grit in my life, I assure you, of tears and raised voices and frustration and exhaustion.  But I can’t look at those things anymore without seeing the grace mixed in too, and that irrefutable truth casts a light onto my experience of every single day.

What are your five most beautiful things?  Mine, right now:

1. The framed charcoal drawing of Grace at age 6 months that hangs over my bureau.  All it takes is looking at that to tumble down the long hall of memory to those early days of motherhood, when I was besotted and confused in equal measure, overwhelmed with both wonder and fear.

2. The sounds of Whit’s lullabye CD drifting through his door after he has gone to sleep.  Every single note of the CD he’s listened to every night for almost 8 years is familiar, and the songs are suffused with memory.  Often, they bring me to tears.

3. The smell of clean laundry, which has always been one of my favorite smells.

4. The few spare red leaves against the heartbreakingly blue sky that I noticed when I glanced up this weekend at the playground.

5. The taste of the green juice I just drank.  I’ve come to absolutely love this juice (I make it myself, daily) and drink it every day.  Don’t worry, I also drink Diet Coke daily.  I remain full of contradictions.

Please share the five most beautiful things you can see (or hear, smell, touch, or taste) right now.  I agree with Jen, that the practice of deliberately looking at the world through this lens can fundamentally alter our lives.  Let’s all participate in that.

More things I love lately

My friend Nina Badzin asked if I might make my things I love lately post a regular feature and so … here we go!

Instagrid – I love Instagram (come find me! lemead) and think this site that shows you the last set of your images, arrayed in regular boxes, is brilliant.  Such a beautiful snapshot of life right now.  I wish I could print these instagrids every week or so.  Are you on Instagram?  Let me know your name in the comments so I can check you out!

Beautiful Daughter – A reader sent me this gorgeous song that she wrote and recorded, inspired in part by my 10 Things I Want my Daughter to Know piece on Huffington Post.  I adore it; her voice is beautiful and the sentiment brings tears to my eyes.

Carrying On – Every single word Katrina Kenison writes moves me, literally.  Her books, her blog, emails.  Every word.  I’m fairly sure Katrina is the writer who makes me cry – in a good way! – more than any other.  It’s impossible for me to choose a favorite piece of her writing.  But this post, written in the wake of Hurricane Sandy, contained a sentence that made me gasp: “we can gently transform sorrow for all that’s lost into gratitude for all that is.”  This, right here: this is what I want, need, aspire to do.  Every minute of every day.

Giftlit – One of my favorite sites for gift giving.  You can buy book-a-month subscriptions for children (or adults), specifying age and interest.  3, 6, and 12- month options.  A couple of years ago I gave giftlit subscriptions to all of my god-children and other close family friends.  My sister gave one to Grace before that and I can say first hand it was a huge hit.  Books PLUS packages in the mail.  What’s better than that!?

Ready or Not – This piece by Allison Slater Tate about touring a middle school for her 10 year old son made me both laugh and cry.  She conveys perfectly the mix of wonder and shock, of grief and pride that animates these days with children who suddenly stand at our shoulder.  I’m proud to call Allison my friend, and grateful that she is also parenting a 10 year old tween.  This is a new mothering season for me and, I know, for Allison, and I’m so glad to have her wise companionship and counsel as I try to find my footing. 

This weekend, I read and loved The Longest Way Home by Andrew McCarthy, I have Christmas carols going full bore (in my car, which is really the only place I listen to music), and yesterday was among the most technicolor and high-definition days I have experienced in a long, long time.  The light right now is so clear, the world so beautiful, that it makes my heart hurt.

Please, tell me, what are you reading, listening to, watching, and loving lately?