It’s been an eventful month. I’ll write more about what happened, but March was full. Grace, Whit, and I went to Rome (see above), Grace and Whit both decided to leave their current school for new frontiers, Matt settled into his new professional situation, I did some writing, I did some reading. I thought about this blog a lot. There were two quotes that kept running through my head.
The first: practice, and learning to write.
The mere habit of writing, of constantly keeping at it, of never giving up, ultimately teaches you how to write.
It is this blog, and the practice of showing up here day after day, that has taught me to write. I still feel uncomfortable calling myself a writer, but I’m totally ready to say I write. I do. And I learned a lot of what I know here (the rest I learned from a handful of teachers, whom I met through this blog). The act of doing has taught me a tremendous amount. For someone who sometimes lives in her head, there’s a lesson in this. That’s a big part of why I personally don’t want to stop. And why I won’t.
From now on, I will write here twice a week, Tuesdays and Thursdays. Thursdays will be, mostly, quotes. That’s definitely a new, slower pace, but I think it feels right right now.
The second: new horizons.
“And suddenly you know: It’s time to start something new and trust the magic of beginnings.”
— Meister Eckhart
This is a time of tremendous change for our family. Both Grace and Whit are headed to new schools in the fall. The fall of 2016 was busy in part because they were both applying out, and we heard decisions, revisited, and made decisions in the last month. This next step is an inexorable step towards the future and a reminder that both children are moving away from me in ways big and small but, unquestionably, permanent. One thing I’ve learned is that apparently-contradictory emotions can coexist within me, even in a single moment, and I’m living that now. I am delighted by and sorrowful about the changes at the same time.
Matt and I are both in new professional situations. 2017 has been eventful so far and while all the news is good, there is a definite sensation of the ground shifting beneath our feet that is as unsettling as it is exciting. I’m trying to trust in the magic that these beginnings represent, but that’s never been easy for me.
I am clear that it is the right time for all of these new developments, but I’ve never liked change. The truth is, I feel strapped into life’s roller coaster in a way that makes me fearful. It is beginning to look like spring out the window (photo below was taken at 7:05pm, 4/2/17). I’m trying not to let the reality of what’s coming cloud what is right now. This is not a new challenge for me, but it is without a doubt the defining one of the next several months. Wish me luck. Here we go.