Things I Love

Poppy and his four grandchildren out for a dinghy ride, July 2, 2017

Happy Fourth of July!

In what has become a cherished tradition, we are celebrating this weekend with my whole family.  The small town where we spend summer weekends has a wonderful parade (you can see photos of the children at the parade through the years here).

So, today I’ll share a few things I’m loving lately.  I’d love to hear what you have been reading and thinking about this holiday weekend.

How to Raise a Feminist Son – I love every word of this piece. I often hear from people that I must be so proud that Grace has a role model of a mother with a career. I am, I say, but I always add that I’m equally as proud that Whit has the same.  This piece beautifully captures a topic that I’m not sure is getting as much attention as it should.  I want both my daughter and my son to grow up believing that the genders are equally as valuable.  Period.

Why Women of 40 and 50 Are the New “Ageless” Generation – I actually have no problem with the expression “middle age” (and I began using it, to criticism, when I turned 35 and then, again when I profiled 38).  That may be because to me that phrase does not have negative connotations but rather means, quite literally, that I am in the middle of my life (which feels like an irrefutable fact to me, as I head towards my 43rd birthday). I relate to a lot about this piece.

Lost – Grace, Whit and I started watching Lost from the start of the first season.  I’d never seen it (and neither had they).  I saw on Instagram that Heather was enjoying the same.  Riveting!  We can’t stop watching and talking about it.  Highly recommend.

June – I love Dina’s writing on Commonplace and these posts always inspire me to pay closer attention to the abundance of small good things that fill my everyday life.

I write these Things I Love posts approximately monthly.  You can see them all here.

Finishing a Memoir with Months to Live – I adored The Bright Hour, and this piece about the book’s writer, Nina Riggs, just took my breath away. Nina is so brilliantly captured in these reflections by Tita, and her vivid, generous approach to life leaps off the page.  Read the piece, and read the book, I urge you.

Dear Girls, Life is Too Short for Crappy Friends – This contains wisdom whether you’re a teeanger or a mid-life adult (or, probably, beyond). Grace is thick in the heart of figuring out what friendships means, and I am remembering all the angst of those years. I keep promising her she will find her people, and I know she will.

Locating Happiness – Thank you to Amanda Magee for drawing my attention to this gorgeous piece.  “What is it about middle age? I do not seek out happiness as a goal or object and yet it comes to me in innumerable small ways, as long as my eyes are open and my heart is pliable.”  Yes.  This.  Exactly this.

My favorite chocolate chip cookies – I know I’ve shared this recipe from Smitten Kitchen, before, but it remains my all-time favorite chocolate chip cookie recipe.  I make these all the time, and they literally never fail. I make them with regular chocolate chips, or a mix of dark and regular chocolate chips (not chocolate chunks). If you want to know how to comfort someone who failed a test, you can always send comfort packages through a fresh cookie delivery service.

What are you reading, loving, and thinking about lately?  Books on my list include: Love and Trouble: A Midlife Reckoning (Claire Dederer), Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy (Sheryl Sandberg), Her: A Memoir (Christa Parravani), and Deadfall (Linda Fairstein). What else should I be sure to read this summer?

I write these Things I Love posts approximately monthly.  You can find them all here.

To She Who Persists – I’ve been hugely moved by John Pavlovitz’s writing lately, and I recommend it all.  This piece in particular touched me, and made me cry.  When he refers to the “near infinite chain of strong, intelligent, capable women, having to shout to be heard above the hissing, frantic noise of insecure men in her midst, all desperate to silence her” I nodded, tearful.  And at the end, the words about his own daughter made me want to go look my own daughter (and son) in the eyes.  I hope they inherit a more equal world.

Hourglass: Dani Shapiro on Time, Memory, Marriage, and What Makes Us Who We Are – beautiful writing about beautiful writing.  Is there anything better? No. No, there is not.  Read Brainpicking’s gorgeous words about Dani’s most recent, luminous, spare, powerful book (she calls it “thoroughly transcendent,” and my review is here).

In the last couple of months I’ve read some gorgeous books.  Nina Riggs’ The Bright Hour (coming in June, and my review is forthcoming) is spectacular, I adored Dani Shapiro’s Hourglass (see above), Bill Hayes’ Insomniac City: New York, Oliver, and Me moved me hugely, and not only because I so love the work of Oliver Sacks, and I could scarcely put down Courtney Sullivan’s wise, funny, thoughtful Saints for All Occasions. As I mentioned in my alphabet of right now, I’ve also been working y way through the collected oeuvre of John Grisham. Contradictory? You bet.  I contain multitudes.

I’ve been driving and running in silence for several months. The driving thing isn’t new at all, but the running is.  I used to listen to On Being, or to Top 40.  These days I run with only my thoughts and the sound of my breath for company.  It wasn’t a deliberate change, just, one day, I went out without headphones, and I never went back.  Sort of how many life changes have happened, when I really think about it.

What are you reading, listening to, and thinking about lately? 

I write these Things I Love Lately posts approximately monthly.  You can find them all here.

I’ll be honest.  I’m not loving a lot right now, since I’m preoccupied with what’s going on in our country.  But when I am not reading news, I’m trying to distract myself, I’ll be honest.  I’d love to hear what you are reading, thinking about, and loving lately.

MARS – Whit and I are watching this marvelous National Geographic series (available on demand).  It’s a great mash-up of futuristic fiction and real-life reality, and it’s inspiring, entertaining, and educational all at the same time.

Small Great Things – I’m reading Jodi Picoult’s latest novel and finding it both incredibly relevant and more moving than I anticipated.  Great plot, riveting story, and I just read that Viola Davis and Julia Roberts will star in the movie, which sounds perfect.

Books for Living – I read Will Schwalbe’s lovely second book over the winter holiday, before things went off the rails (it feels to me), so it’s less in the distract-myself bucket than other things.  I adored reading his reflections on books he’s loved and highly recommend this book.

Rogue POTUS Staff – I’m a big Twitter fan (find me here) and this account, from a secret staffer within the White House, has me riveted.  In a terrified, horrified way, but the information coming out seems to be good.  Check them out now before they get shut down!

Favorite Childhood Books – This week at Great New Books we’re sharing our favorite childhood books.  This is such a great list – for children and for adults! I bet you can guess what mine is!!

I write these Things I Love posts approximately monthly.  You can find them all here.

Great New Books – As you may or may not know, I write occasionally for Great New Books, reviewing a book I’ve loved.  At the end of the year we always publish a series of group posts, which I really love.  We shared our Best Books of 2016, our Favorite Book Quotes from 2016, our Favorite Book We Finally Got Around to Reading in 2016, and our Most Anticipated Books of 2017.  There are some great books mentioned here, and I hope you’ll check it out.

The Invisible Workload – Oh, wow.  This article from Time made me cry.  It’s so true, every word of it.  I’ve said before that the primary work of motherhood is the remembering work.  It’s the mental space that juggling all the details takes up that I’m most aware of and that, lately, feels heaviest.  I don’t mean to complain – I’m grateful and most of the time, I choose the role of Rememberer in Chief – but I appreciate hearing from someone outside that I’m not crazy to feel this as a heavy responsibility.

Be A Creature of Freshness – I love in particular what Lauren has to say about “trimming the fat.”  I’ve had several conversations with friends in the last year about not wanting to focus, at this point in our lives, on friendships that don’t fulfill us. I think of Anne Lamott’s story of shopping with her friend Pammy, who was facing terminal cancer, and stressing about how clothes made her look. Pammy said, “Anne, I really don’t think we have that kind of time.” I feel the same way about friendships that aren’t mutual. I also relate to what Lauren says about putting her dislike of the phone on her voicemail.  Amen to that.

Women Leaders, Relying on their Peers’ Power and Their Own – I was thrilled to see who women I view as role models and inspirations, Sheryl Sandberg and Gloria Steinem, together in this short interview.  My favorite comment is Steinem’s answer to the last question, where she talks about listening as much as talking, and about the ways that both boys and girls are forced into boxes that they’d benefit from escaping.

What are you reading, thinking about, listening to, and loving in this new year?

I write these Things I Love posts approximately monthly.  You can find them all here.