blogging

Alphabet

Marion20134

A photo from this weekend that has nothing to do with this post. I just love it. Grace, Whit, and their cousins, my sister’s two daughters.  Looking out towards the horizon.  

I loved this meme when I saw it for the first time on Writing, Wishing.  It reminded me of my own Alphabet of Right Now, whose reprisal may be called for soon.  But, for now, here we go with Old School Blogging: Alphabet Edition (and thanks to Alison, whose blog is where I found it).

A: Attached or single?  Attached.

B: Best friend?  One of two or three, from college.

C: Cake or pie?  Cake.  Hands down.  I don’t do fruit desserts of any kind.

D: Day of choice? Friday.

E: Essential item? Probably, my iphone, because it’s also my camera. Or my quote books.

F: Favorite color?  Orange.

G: Gummy bears of worms?  Bears, but I’m not a huge fan.  I prefer Swedish fish, though right now am in a huge jellybean phase.  Not Jelly Belly beans, but the larger, generic ones from CVS or Rite Aid.

H: Hometown?  Cambridge, MA.

I: Favorite indulgence? I love massages.

J: January or July?  July all the way.

K: Kids?  Two.  I may have mentioned them here.

L: Life isn’t complete without?  Those two kids. My morning coffee. Mary Oliver. James Taylor. My running shoes.

M: Marriage date? September 9, 2000

N: Number of siblings? One sister, the famous HWM.

O: Oranges or apples?  Apples.  To be specific, Pink Lady are my favorite right now.

P: Phobias? I don’t love roller coasters, though I wouldn’t call it a phobia.  I guess I’m phobic about time passing?

Q: Quotes? Heck, yes. I have been collecting them in notebooks since 1985. I cherish each of my 4 (almost finished with 4) quote books, filled with my handwriting on both sides of each page.

R: Reasons to smile? Oh, so many. The sky. Peonies. Poetry. Grace. Whit. Cold Diet Coke. Hydrangeas. The ocean.

S: Season of choice? Spring.

T: Tag 5 people. Instead I’ll just say: I hope some of you will share this alphabet, and link to it in the comments!

U: Unknown fact about me. I asked my husband. His answer: “you’re actually surprisingly funny.”

V: Vegetable? Asparagus, artichokes, sweet potatoes, summer tomatoes – impossible to choose one.

W: Worst habit? Biting my nails.  Diet Coke.

X: x-ray or ultrasound? Not sure I understand the question.  I’ve had lots of both.  I don’t have a preference.

Y: Your favorite food? French fries. Chocolate chip cookies. Good macaroni & cheese. My food tastes are stuck circa 1978.

Z: Zodiac sign? Leo

 

 

The Worry and the Wonder

When I was a very new mother, a close friend sent me a subscription to Brain, Child magazine.  It was the only magazine, she offered, in which she found the full spectrum of emotion and experience of motherhood.  I agree with her.  I was honored when they published a short story by me last year (fiction!  shocking!) and today I’m delighted that they are running an essay of mine on their blog.  I hope you’ll click over and read The Worry and Wonderment of Parenting.

“All of these fears are real.  But I know there is one central, overarching worry.   It is that our relationship will irrevocably fray.  I worry that if that happens we won’t recover the closeness we share now.  I believe fiercely in the importance of my daughter’s blossoming independence, and over and over again I actively foster it.  But in my deepest, most honest mother heart, I worry that I’m not myself strong enough to weather months or years of her desire and need for distance.  My most common and frequent worry – occurring to me several times a day, at least – is that this season of my life is almost over.

But twined through all these worries, there is so much wonder.”

… please visit Brain, Child to read the rest of my essay.  Thank you!

Jennifer Pastiloff: There is Room for All of Us

I first discovered Jennifer Pastiloff’s wonderful blog when I heard about her Five Most Beautiful Things Project.  I adore what she’s doing with that, and I love all of her writing.  I urge you to check it out: Jennifer writes powerfully and lucidly about the big questions of what it is to be human: belonging, identity, letting go, and self-sabotage.

It is my honor to be on Jennifer’s blog today, sharing a piece I love, There is Room for All Of Us.  I hope you will read it, and while you’re there, poke around and read more.  You won’t regret it.

In the crucible

I am richly blessed with marvelous friends.  I laughed when I read an article recently that debunked myths about introverts.  “Introverts hate people,” it argued, is absolutely untrue.  It’s just that it takes a while to earn an introvert’s true trust, and once you do, you have a loyal friend for life.  This is unquestionably true of me.  My beloved native speakers, who sail beside me through rain and sun, are among the most important parts of my life.

I was honored, therefore, when the team at the HerStories Project asked me to write for them.  And my post is up there, now, about a once-and-always dear friend, the woman who was closest to me as I tiptoed into motherhood and traversed the rocky waters of the first few months.  I hope you’ll read my piece, A Friendship Forged In the Crucible, and explore the other work on HerStories while you’re there.  I love what they’re doing.

Some changes

This September will mark seven years of blogging for me.  I love writing here.  To say it has had a substantial impact on the way I live my life is an understatement.  Blogging has introduced me to a community of writers I’d never imagined meeting, brought me back to the person who loves to write, who I’d lost for many years, and reminded me in a visceral way that my life is right here in front of me, and if I don’t pay attention I’ll miss it.

It’s time for a small change.  Starting next week I’m going to blog three times a week.  Mostly this is because I’m worried I’m repeating myself.  A couple of years ago I noted that Joni Mitchell’s Circle Game could easily be the theme song of my life.  “Captive on a carousel of time” might have been a more apt (though more trademarked) name for this blog.  I feel like the circles are getting smaller, and I am becoming boring.  I told Matt about this change, and he asked why, and I said “because I think I’m repeating myself.”  Without hesitation, he said, “Yes, that’s probably true.”  Oh-kay.  There you have it.

Writing here has certainly made clear the central leitmotifs of my life: mourning the passage of time, the mysterious nature of memory, my dogged but imperfect attempts to be here now, and the reality that life is flawed and messy, grand and golden, and that it is impossible (for me) to have light without dark.

It is inexpressibly valuable to have clarity about what those themes are.  I understand now, and I did not before, the ways that these spots around which my soul pivots have defined my comings and goings and my feeling and thinking.

But I don’t want to just say the same thing over and over again.  I can’t possibly explain how much it means to me that anyone at all is reading my words; honestly, that is a gift beyond measure.  Thank you.  I know it’s awfully meta to blog about blogging.  I won’t do it again, but I just wanted to explain the change in cadence here that will start next week.

And to say thank you.