This is 45

This is 45.  I am halfway through my forties.

In the first half of this decade, I have: lost a parent and a parent-in-law. watched a child leave home. watched a child get her driver’s license. watched both children grow taller than I am. visited 3 European cities with my children. seen cancer up close. watched my close friends lose parents. gone to funerals, weddings, and christenings. with 4 beloved colleagues, founded a company that’s thriving. seen the Grand Canyon and Hawaii for the first time. edited an essay collection published by Simon & Schuster.

I am less sure of anything than ever. I have more questions about what happens after death every year. I have known some of those dearest to me for over a quarter century. I’ve been married 19 years, and have lived in the same house for 18. I wake up at 5-something almost every day. I can recognize a kindred spirit when I see him or her (and the reverse, too). I told my college friends I was both shocked and grateful to find myself here in midlife, and that’s true.

I have frown lines between my eyes but I’m happier than ever in a quiet, sturdy way. I deeply, deeply love my life.

originally posted on my birthday (8/16) on instagram.

1 thought on “This is 45”

  1. Ahhh. Great that you love your life.
    The journey is long. You are not even half way there. But! Rejoice! You have lots of people that love you.

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