Some changes

This September will mark seven years of blogging for me.  I love writing here.  To say it has had a substantial impact on the way I live my life is an understatement.  Blogging has introduced me to a community of writers I’d never imagined meeting, brought me back to the person who loves to write, who I’d lost for many years, and reminded me in a visceral way that my life is right here in front of me, and if I don’t pay attention I’ll miss it.

It’s time for a small change.  Starting next week I’m going to blog three times a week.  Mostly this is because I’m worried I’m repeating myself.  A couple of years ago I noted that Joni Mitchell’s Circle Game could easily be the theme song of my life.  “Captive on a carousel of time” might have been a more apt (though more trademarked) name for this blog.  I feel like the circles are getting smaller, and I am becoming boring.  I told Matt about this change, and he asked why, and I said “because I think I’m repeating myself.”  Without hesitation, he said, “Yes, that’s probably true.”  Oh-kay.  There you have it.

Writing here has certainly made clear the central leitmotifs of my life: mourning the passage of time, the mysterious nature of memory, my dogged but imperfect attempts to be here now, and the reality that life is flawed and messy, grand and golden, and that it is impossible (for me) to have light without dark.

It is inexpressibly valuable to have clarity about what those themes are.  I understand now, and I did not before, the ways that these spots around which my soul pivots have defined my comings and goings and my feeling and thinking.

But I don’t want to just say the same thing over and over again.  I can’t possibly explain how much it means to me that anyone at all is reading my words; honestly, that is a gift beyond measure.  Thank you.  I know it’s awfully meta to blog about blogging.  I won’t do it again, but I just wanted to explain the change in cadence here that will start next week.

And to say thank you.

54 thoughts on “Some changes”

  1. I’m a new follower of this blog and in a short time it’s helped me immensely. Your central themes are familiar to me. I strive to be more present in my life. Reading your words here is almost like practice for me…a reminder to not get lost in disconent. I’m disappointed that there won’t be so many posts, but greatly relieved that you’ll still be posting something. The truth is I would still read even if you posted once a week. This will give me time to read some earlier posts, or maybe finally pick up one of your great book recommendations. I’m a mother to a beautiful 19 month tornado named Grace, and her soon to be baby sister due in Aug. If I could write, I would write like you. Thanks for doing it and thank you for keeping it up 3 times a week.

  2. While I understand completely, I will miss starting each morning with you words. Know that you will never sound repetitive to me!

  3. Lindsey, Following blogs is new to me and I found yours through Katrina Kenison’s and you have now introduced me to other wonderful blogs and the inspirational words keep getting to me. I am a mother to 5 (poor family planning – ha) wonderful children and each morning after they are dropped off at school I walk for an hour. I use that time to think, to clear my head to remember to be present. This morning I woke up read your blog post and thought of you on my walk. I wanted to tell you that in my opinion you are not repetitive at all. Even if you were, you would be able to say the same thing many different ways and touch on common truths. You do for me with every post. I smiled as I walked and thought how as I go through my walk thinking of each child, my husband, our pets,groceries, meals, and lululemon pants, how all of us are similar. My husband , who is a good solid man (and handsome) just last night said something to me that got my back up and as I went back to the kitchen to finish cleaning up I thought of his limited understanding he has of being a mother. SO my back went down and I smiled. It is something between us mothers. Our deep, endless love for our children that may at times cause us to overthink, mourn, or obsess. Your posts actually help streamline my thoughts and become more mindful. Don’t doubt yourself and your ability to spread goodness. I will read your blog as many times as you post and love it all. Sorry for the ramble, just wanted you to know! deb

  4. Truthfully, the fact that you’ve been blogging five days a week for nearly seven years is absolutely astonishing. I don’t know how you’ve kept up this pace for so long! As you said, now that you’ve unearthed and “polished” the themes that permeate your life, you deserve some time away to think about the next “turn on the carousel.” Regardless of how many times a week you’re here, I’ll still be here reading.

  5. Lindsey, even if there is nothing new to say on a particular day, don’t stop sharing your lovely photos and some wonderful quote that has come your way. Those are a treasured gift to us as well.

  6. I, too, am amazed that you were as prolific as you have been. I think that what is most important is that it works for you. Your readers will be there. I know I will be.

  7. Thank you so, so much for saying this! I am hugely grateful to know that you’re reading, and that what I write about resonates with you. Do you know the song “this tornado loves you?” I always think of my daughter when I hear it – in fact we have an LL Bean canvas bag which is monogrammed “Hurricane Grace” because one of the years she was tiny the “g” hurricane in the Northeast was Grace. I look forward to hearing news of your new, wonderful storm! xo

  8. I can’t tell you how much this comment means to me – thank you, thank you. I’m so honored to hear that my words touch something, and also to know that there’s a kindred spirit out there in yoga pants! 🙂 xox

  9. I blogged seven days a week for years of those seven! Hard to believe … Thanks for letting me know that you’ll still be here. That means an enormous amount to me. xox

  10. Your fear that your thoughts and observations may be repetative reminded me of my own philosophy of children’s toys – I didn’t discard them as my daughter got older, because, with age and experience, she could (and would) look at, and use, those same toys in different ways. She is 10 now, and, although most of the “baby toys” have been handed-down or donated, there are still a few she incorporates into her current imaginative play. I think the same holds true for your writing; I can, and often do, go back to some of your older posts and look at them, now, in a new light. As long as you are here, we’ll be here.

  11. OK. So I read the title and the first sentence about blogging….. and my stomach did a flip like I was on a ride at Disney World. I paused, closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and then continued to read. I am just so thankful you are continuing. Not that this is in any way about me, but I really felt like you were about to break up with me! Ha!

    I don’t know how you have sustained what you do. A couple of years ago, when I found you, I didn’t like the Friday quotes. I wanted more of what you had to say. In the last year, I find myself looking forward to that on fridays. I still am most excited for mon, tues, and thurs…. for wise countenance.

    We are going through major changes as my husband unexpectedly lost his job of 22 years last Friday (did you say you were a head hunter in your real life????). So we are learning its not the smartest or most creative that survive, but the ones most adaptable to change. I probably got that from a quote on your website.

    You have mentioned before that you thought you were repeating yourself, so hopefully you will find some peace in regards to that. But, holy buckets, does anything seep in the first time one hears it???

    Good luck, and thanks for not leaving.

  12. I appreciate a new rhythm. I’ve found it over in my writing space too. It’s less often, but that’s what life allows right now. It will feel good for you as well, I believe. I actually was feeling what you’re feeling, too. Like I was just saying the same thing all the time. Even if I wasn’t, or you weren’t, I guess if we feel that way we’re teetering on going into a writing funk that’s hard to come back from. At least that was true for me. I love your heart and words no matter how often you speak them.



  13. “And the seasons they go ’round and ’round, And the painted ponies go up and down…” My favorite song in the whole wild world. Your daily devotion to your writing humbled and astonished me. It will be so exciting to see what emerges in this new space you’re opening up. Congrats!

  14. I love that even when you write a blog post about blogging, you make it beautiful and about so much more. I completely understand the need to take a step back (when I started my blog 2 years ago, I was posting about 3 times a week, and now I post about once a week, more or less). I think you have to listen your what your heart’s telling you (yes, corny as it sounds) and live your fullest life. Promise, we’ll still be here 😉

  15. I will continue to look forward to your words, however often you will type them. However, I do think it’s important to say that for those with whom your words resonate deeply, they are not repetitive, nor ever could they be described as boring. Many of your central “themes” are mine……. To find someone who feels so deeply what I feel and who can provide solace not only in that familiarity, but also in the ability to work through these feelings with words has been life-changing for me – and to say that your writing “has had a substantial impact on the way I live my life is an understatement.” Your blog is my very favourite and the one I look forward to often. I’m not a writer, and am not nearly as articulate, so I thank you for being so. I too, will be here, whenever you will be. I (maybe selfishly?) do hope that your writing continues to reflect on these themes and that you know just how much of a difference you make in others’ lives.

  16. Oh, thank you – I love that analogy. I try to think of it as a spiral (rather than just a gerbil run, around and around! :)) – there is hopefully some deepening as I go down (or up). I will definitely remain here! xox

  17. Thank you so much for saying such nice things. I’m so sorry for the abrupt job loss – and totally agree that it’s adaptability that is the biggest determinant of success and thriving). Good luck to you all in this season of transition (yes, I am a headhunter, very focused on private equity and hedge funds – let me know if I can be helpful!). xox

  18. So nice to hear from you, Heather – I am glad to know you’re in the same changing rhythm … have been following news of your move, and can’t wait to hear more! xox

  19. Oh, Liana – this comment makes me cry. Thank you, thank you. This is why I’m here, why I keep pecking out the words. Thank you. Don’t worry – I’m not going anywhere, and I can’t imagine ever writing about anything that didn’t touch these themes, because they are the central ones of my life. xoxo

  20. I’ve been a huge fan since I stumbled across your site back in 2009 when I first started blogging. I’m not a parent (of actual human children) and still, I’ve always felt a deep connection to you, to your words, your emotions. Your views on parenting roll deep into the heart of life, and I’m so grateful to have this landing space to come to, be it five days or three days a week.

    Cheers to you, my friend. xoxo

  21. Oh, I am sad about this!!! But I also understand. I am always just in awe of how much you write and how well you write. It’s astonishing. So I also get it:)

    I had to laugh at what Matt said. We have them trained so well to agree with us, don’t we:) Or maybe he is more like my husband and is just brutally honest. Anyway, I never felt like you are repeating yourself and I will really look forward to the 3 days you do post!!!

  22. Oh husbands, they really Re something, no? I love that Joni Mitchell song and feel it’s truth so deeply as another school year comes to an end and another summer begins. Your central themes are hardly repetitive. They take on deeper meaning as my children grow and I get farther into this motherhood journey. I’m happy to read whatever you write howev frequently it comes. Xox!

  23. I am just relieved you are not taking a break from blogging (of course, I would understand) — I would just miss your words. I think this is a great move, and NOT because you’re repeating yourself! But just because changing things up is good. xox

  24. I love that song too. Really, really. Thank you for saying that about the themes here 🙂 … xoxo

  25. Natalie Goldberg said, “Writing is as deep as I’ll get on this earth.” That’s how I feel about your writing, and why we write. Discovering A Design So Vast and you as a kindred spirit was a gift…and the “shock of recognition”! You articulate beautifully my own sensibility about life: the challenge of being present, appreciating every day, our awareness of beauty and loss and the passage of time. I’ve just lost my beloved Dad, so all of these things are taking on a different and even deeper resonance…I’m in a new season of transition. However often you write, I will remain a faithful reader. Thank you, Lindsey.

  26. Lindsey, I believe this will be your post that receives 100 comments (at least!)…You are going to get a lot of pushback here! My stomach also did flips, as MK Countryman said…You never repeat yourself! Your themes, of course, are steady and dependable (that’s why we’re here reading!!), but the specific words you choose, the carefully chosen descriptions of your life, your lessons, are unique and take on a new twist every time. I could read ten of your posts a day. Your blog is as important to my day as my morning cup of coffee, my bedtime rituals with the kids, saying grace before dinner…It sets the course of my day on the right footing. I know I’m not alone in that I will greatly miss you on your non-posting days. if you are not posting as often for other reasons (time and other commitments, for example), of course I respect and understand that (ummm….not about me, anyway!!) But, if it’s exclusively your fear of being repetitive, I beg you to reconsider! It astonishes me how much of an impact you and your writing and blog have had on my life. Of course, whenever you write, your readers will read!! We love you!

  27. I have felt the same thing for a couple years now…I am saying the same thing on different days. So I definitely know what you mean.

    Good choice, and though you will be missed on those other days, I get it.

  28. As others have said, I will keep reading. Your words (and the words of others that you post) show me there are others who share my quiet, thoughtful, aware, pensive, pondering, reflecting, sometimes melancholy nature. Thank you.

  29. Oh, Lindsey I am so excited for you and so excited for all of “us” that you are still with us. My heart sank for a bit because I immediately thought you needed a temporary complete break/ change from blogging. I don’t know you personally, but your words struck a deep cord with me the moment I happened upon your blog. I guess we are the generation that meets “friends” in unexpected places outside our neighborhoods. Enjoy this change and all the good it will bring your way. Thank you!

  30. Lindsey, I always read what you write. It is refreshing, often humorous, insightful. Sure, you turn to many similar themes, but that is the best way to really dig deep and uncover new things about what concerns you. And often it is what concerns many others as well. Thanks! Julie.

  31. 1. I agree with everyone here who is so impressed with how much you have produced here over the past seven years. It’s an incredible accomplishment.

    2. Three days a week is also a ton of writing and a big accomplishment. I can barely get something out once a week.

    3. I think it’s so important to always reflect on your process and make changes as needed.

    4. I’m obsessed with that song. Have you heard the version where it’s a different voice (a girl’s voice) for each verse as the child gets older? TEARS every time.

  32. I love the friends I’ve met here in the “ether.” Love them!! Thank you so much for saying such nice things. xoxo

  33. I don’t know about the 100 comments, but thank you so much for all of this. It really is mostly about fear of repetitiveness, and that I just keep saying the same things over and over again. I so appreciate hearing your kind words about what an impact I have had – I honestly cannot possibly convey how much it means to hear that. That’s WHY I do this, and to hear that sometimes I touch a nerve means inexpressibly much. xox

  34. I can’t say much that hasn’t already been said. I’ve been away for a bit because I’ve been swamped with work and stuff and work–so I fully appreciate what a commitment it is to write 5 days a week. I don’t know that you’re repetitive, but maybe that feeling is just a signal that a new subject is looking for a way in? I’m looking forward to seeing what you find out.

  35. So I got really nervous as I was reading your first paragraph. 🙂 I thought, “I’ve only just found her – I can’t lose her now!” I’m so relieved you’ll still be posting. Nothing you write could ever be boring. As for repetitive, perhaps the themes repeat but the perspective you take is different every time. I always look at something in a new light or feel like I’ve learned a great life and/or parenting lesson when I read your words. Here’s to the next seven years! 🙂

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