Deep joy and unsettling ambivalence

I adore this post about the experience of motherhood. It evokes the twin emotions I feel on a daily basis: deep joy and unsettling ambivalence.

So, to write my own list of five things I love about being a mother:

1. The absolute hilarity of the things that come out of their mouths. Whit and his majesty pants, Grace and her mouth-of-marbles attempts at using really big words (today was “inevitable”).

2. The rediscovery of string cheese, chicken nuggets, ritz crackers, macaroni and cheese, and those divine fruit gummy things that are pretending they aren’t candy. Also, that every restaurant meal comes with french fries.

3. The occasional demonstration of genuine affection between them. When I bust them playing nicely together or holding hands crossing the street.

4. The way sleeping children are just so sound asleep. And the delicious, Johnsons-baby-shampoo smell of their heads in sleep. And the pajamas. I love pajamas, especially from The Gap.

5. Children’s music. I unabashedly listen to Raffi, Steve Songs, and other children’s CDs even when driving alone.

1 thought on “Deep joy and unsettling ambivalence”

  1. You are so right, about all of these things. I just peeked in at my boyos sleeping peacefully, showing no signs whatsoever of the drama and trauma and stress of a crazy evening. I wish it was something I could bottle and pull out as needed, just for that piece of peace.

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