At Babies R Us today, the kind, burly boy who helped me load a crib into the car asked me how old I was, because I “didn’t look old enough to have two kids.” I answered “32” and he misheard me, obviously thinking I had said 22. He said, “Wow. You are only two years older than I am. What did you do, have your first right out of high school?”
I don’t know whether to be appalled or flattered.
11 days of school left. Bring on the tears. Natalie said she’s going to need a whole bottle of prozac to get through the last day. I may need a whole bottle of gin.
Au naturel, baby. Swing low, sweet chariots.
This is not shallow. This is … emotionally magnificent.
I am a great interviewee. Why? Because I have something no one else has: my brain. Which I use to my advantage. So advantageous.
What a blessed time of life this is.
I read Whit Goodnight Moon tonight, blinking back tears (yes, Ally, I am officially a cryer) as I wondered how many more times I will sit with him at bedtime, rocking and reading the familiar words I could easily recite by heart. He was tired tonight, and as he snuggled against my chest his eyes were fluttering closed. I ache thinking about how fast this flies.
Had the same experience with Gracie today. I came out of my teacher conference, and she was on the swings, facing away from me. She was all by herself, pumping hard and swinging high. My heart leapt into my throat as I considered how grown up and self-sufficient she is already. How smoothly she can make herself swing, how high she can fly.
A set of cliches, to be sure, but profoundly emotional ones. As Lacy says, life is a series of losses. Somehow parenting makes this reality so salient, so tangible. And as Daddy points out, we WANT them to grow up, to walk further without seeking our reassurance, to grow into their own selves (as Grace used to say: “I want to do it my own self!“) But oh, how bittersweet is this passage!
We had the New Family cookout at Grace’s new school tonight. It’s going to be an adjustment! I miss her old school so keenly. Grace, however, was unfazed. She ran around with Lucien Wood as though she’d been playing with him for years (sadly he is not going to be in her class next year, and has another year at the old school). I will definitely need to get to know these new parents and families; I feel a bit daunted right now by that task.