What a blessed time of life this is.

I read Whit Goodnight Moon tonight, blinking back tears (yes, Ally, I am officially a cryer) as I wondered how many more times I will sit with him at bedtime, rocking and reading the familiar words I could easily recite by heart. He was tired tonight, and as he snuggled against my chest his eyes were fluttering closed. I ache thinking about how fast this flies.

Had the same experience with Gracie today. I came out of my teacher conference, and she was on the swings, facing away from me. She was all by herself, pumping hard and swinging high. My heart leapt into my throat as I considered how grown up and self-sufficient she is already. How smoothly she can make herself swing, how high she can fly.

A set of cliches, to be sure, but profoundly emotional ones. As Lacy says, life is a series of losses. Somehow parenting makes this reality so salient, so tangible. And as Daddy points out, we WANT them to grow up, to walk further without seeking our reassurance, to grow into their own selves (as Grace used to say: “I want to do it my own self!“) But oh, how bittersweet is this passage!

We had the New Family cookout at Grace’s new school tonight. It’s going to be an adjustment! I miss her old school so keenly. Grace, however, was unfazed. She ran around with Lucien Wood as though she’d been playing with him for years (sadly he is not going to be in her class next year, and has another year at the old school). I will definitely need to get to know these new parents and families; I feel a bit daunted right now by that task.

There was a fabulous squall after swimming today. We emerged from the pool and were instantly drenched, cold, and laughing. I love spring and summer thunderstorms, the ones that come on out of the blue and blow through fast, with tremendous sturm and drang. I love this kind of rain, while I loathe gloomy, endless drizzle. I love thunder and lightning, which somehow seem to be the universe’s way of letting off steam – how remarkable that the very air around us can suddenly be animate with roars and light. The sound and the fury, indeed! It occurs to me that I like my weather with a point of view (much like I like my people).

Today’s storm reminded me of one summer at Cape Cod Sea Camps, when a friend and I ran around on the big open fields in front of the camp in a wild thunderstorm squall. We were soaked to the skin, and literally dancing with the lightning as it touched down around us. The camp director came out and yelled, in the pouring rain, that he would have to fire us if we didn’t come inside because the liability was too great. It is still one of my favorite memories.

My day today: evidence of an existence that is either totally schizophrenic or remarkably rich.

• Woke up with children, did breakfast and books, took Gracie to school. Spent some time with our director, Jenifer, checking in on capital campaign and other items.
• Home for 9:30 conference call with headhunter. Negotiated contract and carve-out list.
• IMed briefly with Lacy to catch up.
• Ran 11 miles. Felt good. Officially looking for 1/2 marathon to do.
• Home to respond to 28 new work emails that had come in while I was running.
• Baked chocolate oatmeal bar cookies for kids while on phone with Gloria in London.
• Conference call with Bis, who is opening our India office, to make decisions on the legion of candidates Alex, Chris and I have met for him. Decided on Gaurav, with Manish a close second.
• Drafted offer letter for senior associate offeree in New York. Made travel plans for next few weeks of work travel.
• Spent 30 minutes on phone with my tennis club membership co-chair, discussing wait list and plans for summer events
• Wrapped birthday present for Emay

And so it goes. Looking forward to a mellow night at home tonight. Tomorrow is the BB&N new family cookout which should be interesting. Weather continues to be gorgeous. Matt is in San Francisco until Friday or Saturday morning.

Am listening to a new book now in the car: The Canon by Natalie Angier. I really enjoyed her last book: Woman: An Intimate Geography which is basically a detailed but immensely readable investigation of female physiology.

The Canon’s introduction talks at length about how science has what amounts to a PR problem in our society. It got me thinking of my love for science and all the various ways that has manifested in my life. And how honestly I come by it: I am the child of an MIT PhD who, while pursuing a career in business, has kept a looseleaf notebook full of mathematical proofs and musings. My paternal grandfather and grandmother were both scientists and engineers by training and passion (Pops, who was chief engineer at Grumman, and Gaga, who should have been a doctor but was bound by the constraints of the day).

Uncles, cousins, aunts – these populations in my life, among others, are rich with engineers and scientists. The love of my college life was a Physics major. I myself left London after 10th grade planning to take A-levels in Biology, Chemistry, Physics, and Double Maths. It only took me 6 years to ‘slide downhill’ and graduate from Princeton as an English major. I did take a lot of extra science at college – in particular I remember being in a Biology lab class with Quincy as juniors; we an oddity in the universe of freshman and sophomores fulfilling their lab requirements.

I have always been interested in this realm: I remember loving The Way Things Work as a child. I adored Legos. I did an intensive two-day career counseling/skills assessment while at BCG and was told, in the final discussion, that I should be an engineer or a surgeon. Well, you can see how obediently I heeded that advice.

Anyway, I am loving The Canon and look forward to listening to the rest of it. It’s reminding me that while I chose a career in business, I can find other ways to fulfill the part of me that is happiest in a lab with beakers. There is a clarity to science, a right answer, that is very seductive to me. I love certainty, cogent explanations, logic, and reason.

Just some thoughts as I realize how completely I am a science nerd.