Driving across the Mass Ave bridge this morning I was struck by Boston in the fog. Everything looks a little otherwordly. What I wasn’t able to capture was the tiny while sails dotting the Charles. I love this city with my whole heart.

Update. Two hours at the Mt Auburn ER last night. They wanted to stitch the cut but they couldn’t because apparently stitching straight through a nail (which they would have had to do) is a really big deal. Instead I got some “glue” and some steri-strips, plus a nice big bandage which makes texting really hard. In fact impossible. And also a mandate to keep it dry for five days. Hello? How do I shower?

What is it with my fingers and knives? I sliced my thumb across the blade of a sharp carving knife today as I was washing it. So much blood it looked like a murder had taken place in my kitchen sink. I don’t think of myself as a clumsy person but I seem to do this a lot: in July 2000 I (literally) sliced off the tip of my left index finger while cutting baguette for my mother’s birthday dinner. That led to a fun-filled adventure in the Wareham Hospital ER (don’t recommend it). Then when I was about 12 weeks pregnant with Grace I cut about half an inch into the webbing between my thumb and forefinger while slicing a bagel. This was when I discovered that for some people the notion of “webbing” between fingers is enough to elicit shudders, let alone discussion of severing that piece of anatomy.
And now, once again, here I go cutting into myself. I have finally staunched the bleeding, and now my biggest problem is that I am very reliant on my thumbs for texting and emailing!

So, I have hardly run in about two weeks. This morning I did just 4 miles, and every single step was an effort. Have a steep hill ahead to climb. Once again, was drifting through memories as each song took me to a different past time:
Rocky Mountain High – Watching fireworks at Aspen in March 2000
This Land is Your Land – nursery school assemblies
Hey There Delilah – People I love, the particular complexities and joys of right now in my life
Live Like You Were Dying – Taylor Wells, and the incredible example she is for bravely seeking out the life you should be living

And yes, I fully expect more mockery on the kinds of easy listening tunes I run to.

Some pictures from the Exeter reunion that I found on the school website. Nice memories of visiting with Gloria, Schuyler, and many others. As I was reading the alumni bulletin today the black-and-whiteness of life really struck me. The back pages list deaths, marriages, births. There in simple black type on white pages you seem names and birth or death dates – the moments that a life spins on. And then I moved on to thinking about how the actual moments where a life’s path is determined are generally NOT those big ticket items (birth, marriage, death). How beneath that very black-and-white simplicity there is a swirling of ocean of gray where life actually takes place. The murky moments that you would never expect to have such an impact. The surprises that come out of nowhere and redirect your entire course. The moments – most of which seem small as you are living them – which form the fulcrum on which a life rotates.

Still quite pensive tonight as you can see. I’m glad that Carly is coming over for wine tonight, and am hoping that her sense of humor and good company can shake me out of this melodrama.