Grace has arrived in Florida. She flew on Sunday morning (above, going through security, following her grandfather). Matt took her and John to Logan on Sunday very early, and I woke up at 7:30 with a start: we forgot to pack the bears. Now of course this had double humor for me given the recent blog post about Whit’s monkeys. Matt pulled in at home, I threw a pajama-clad Whit into the backseat, and leapt into the car in my own pajamas, teeth unbrushed, clutching brown bear and yellow bear. We raced to Logan and I ran through the terminal like a crazy woman towards security. Grace and John came back through security (which was, inexplicably, a zoo at 8am on a Sunday morning), took possession of the bears, and calmly returned to their gate. It was a close call, I’m told, with boarding, but I think it was worth it. Grace was totally composed and brave waving goodbye to me; it was I who stood and watched her little form walk down the hall and followed her as she was swallowed up into the crush of travelers.
I miss her already. John is terrific about sending daily reports and photographs, and it appears that everyone’s having a total blast so far.

What shall I be when I grow up?

You can vote among these options:

1. a headhunter (use that useless MBA)
2. a midwife (use that enormous passion for birth, and my own two experiences)
3. a clothing store owner (use that insatiable appetite for all things superficial and fashiony)
4. a writer (please provide details of what I will write and who will read it)
5. other (please explain)

Her mother’s daughter. Grace can’t sleep for anticipation of tomorrow. So she’s in her bed reading books (“reading”). We’ll see how late she stays up!

This photo was taken last Sunday morning as Christina and I drove out of the city. It’s sunrise over the East River, but somehow the contrast seems high to me for sunrise, and there is something vaguely evening-ish about the photograph.
It’s one of those days for me: confusion about which end is up, which way is forward, and which corner of my head will provide solace. I’ve written and taken down a couple of blog posts; despite concerted efforts, I can’t find my center today. The children have been arguing and I’m just feeling a bit out of sorts.
We had a lovely visit this morning with Kara, Jason, and baby Will – that was a respite from myself, and certainly the highlight of the day. Grace and Whit both really enjoyed holding Will and seeing them behaving gently, responsibly, playing the role of Big Kid made me simultaneously proud and sad. I ask and expect them to behave so much like full-blown children, and yet it was just yesterday that they were as small and helpless as baby Will. Hurry hurry hurry up, grown up, behave older than you are, wait wait wait, come here, let me hold you, why is time moving so fast?
Welcome to my world.

And here’s Grace, just five minutes ago, looking about 15 (I think). She’s off to Florida in the morning with her grandfather, for the whole week! I can’t believe their generosity in taking her for a week, and I also can’t imagine a week without her here. I feel a little sad about her being gone, but also excited for both her special time with her grandparents and for my one-on-one time with the monster otherwise known as Whit.
When I think about my grandparents, all of the fond memories are laquered with a slight sense of remove. They were always a little distant – seemed older, further away. Some of this is surely because we just didn’t see them that often. I am so delighted that Grace and Whit can grow up with their grandparents playing a more regular, day-to-day role in their lives. The fact that my mother can routinely pick Gracie up, or just hang out with her on a regular day, is an enormous source of joy for me. Poppy and the Russells are less a part of the day-to-day but Grace and Whit’s relationship with all three of them seems more casual, loving, and familiar than I remember feeling about my own grandparents. I’m sure some of this is the patina of time – and I don’t mean to convey anything other than tremendous affection and love for them. My grandmothers in particular have been hugely impactful on me. It’s just that I always felt a slight formality in my relationship to them that doesn’t seem present in Grace and Whit’s interactions with their grandparents. And what a blessing this is!