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providence

3. a manifestation of divine care or direction

…. it’s looking good. Major life changes ahead. Stay tuned. No letter in hand yet. Am trying to listen to the universe and let providence take over. Hard for me, who prefers to manhandle the universe. As per Tom Robbins: “You’re better equipped for this world than I am,” she said. “I’m always trying to change the world. You know how to live in it.” I’m working on it…

And, here comes my favorite season (well, except for summer) – Christmas carols, paperwhite bulbs, and Christmas cards flooding in the door (record last year was 19 in one day). Hooray!

Grace’s BB&N interview tomorrow, wish us luck.

Am certainly making up for my week of silence today.
This evening’s sunset was just plain glorious. I tried to take a picture but it didn’t come out well. Words will have to do. This is the time of year when the sunsets are particularly stunning, I think, and also painfully bittersweet. The days are short, the air is cold, and the long winter looms. And somehow the crispness of the sky makes for these outrageous, short-lived sunsets. Watching, breathless, I find myself fighting back tears at the way nature animates life’s brevity, endless farewells, and profound impermanence. Frost said it best:

So dawn goes down to day/nothing gold can stay.

Finished Truth and Beauty by Ann Patchett last week. What a breathtaking, elegiac testament to a once-in-a-lifetime friendship. I was deeply moved. A few passages really struck me:

“It’s true,” she said, leaning her head on my shoulder. “It’s your blessing and your curse. You’re always going to be fine.”

“We were all better off living in the worlds inside our heads.”

“Lucy and I were one another’s history.”

“Whenever I saw her, I felt like I had been living in another country, doing moderately well in another language, and then she showed up speaking English and suddenly I could speak with all the complexity and nuance that I hadn’t even realized was gone. With Lucy, I was a native speaker.”

“History is strangely incomprehensible when you’re standing in the middle of it.”

“Now I know I was simply not cut out for life without her. I am living that life now, and I would not choose it.”

Now it’s Daddy’s turn under the blog microscope. I’ve written so much about matrilineage and mothers and daughters … he hasn’t gotten enough airtime. I don’t have the same arsenal of quotes so I’m forced to rely on my own words and thoughts. That’s Poppy at Thanksgiving 2002 with a baby Grace. And he still looks the same. My father, in whose image I chose a husband!
Seriously: my Dad is one of four boys, and was raised in a very competitive, male-oriented family. It was all about intellectual rigor and proving yourself. He and his twin both have PhDs (Dad’s from MIT, no less), as did my grandfather (who designed aircraft for Grumman, including the famous Apollo). And yet somehow Dad adapted seamlessly to being the father of two girls. There was never, for a single second, any doubt we could do and be whatever we wanted. We were encouraged, coached, and loved unconditionally. Conversations with my Dad, while much rarer than I wish, are still one of my favorite ways to spend my time. He’s coming over for some wine and dinner tonight, and I can’t wait. His intellect is so broad that he ranges comfortably from historical commentary to discussion of the current state of the world to offering very insightful advice into particular life questions. I love you, Daddy!

A week’s flown by. Last weekend was jam packed as usual. A highlight was Saturday morning brunch with two friends from HBS – Brett L’Esperance (middle, with his three children) and Margo Dhaliwal (right, with Colin). We get together so rarely, as getting the calendars in synch is like aligning stars, but when we do it’s always really great to catch. Our children play nicely together (watching Gracie and Ella lying on their stomachs, heads bent over a book, was enchanting) and we have lots to catch up on! Sectionmates starting businesses, starting families, starting over. Seems amazing that it was eight full years ago that we started out in Aldrich 9. Brett was married to Emily, but Margo and I were just dating our now-husbands. And now look: six children between us! Wow!