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Stunned and shocked today. One of my father’s best friends, a man whose family we grew up with in Paris, has unexpectedly dropped dead of a heart attack. A reminder of mortality, generally, and also of our lives transitioning to a place where our parents’ generation may begin to ail and die.

Feeling sad and bruised today and wanting to hold those who are dear close.

Luckily am seeing beloved old friends for dinner and that will be a tonic. Kara, Kathryn, and our respective spice. Hopefully with several bottles of wine.

Another skinless parenting moment.

Dropped Gracie and Matt off at Logan. Grace has been levitating with excitement for days about her trip. I walked into school to pick her up today at 2 and she just stared at me and said, “NOW?” We had a brief torrent of tears at saying goodbye, and then my brave little girl wiped her face and took off into the crowd of travelers, backpack on her back. I watched her weaving through the adults, her bright pink and green bag making her visible far into the crowd, and gulped back my own tears.

When did she get so big and grown up? She seemed like such a mature little girl taking off with her daddy, without a backwards glance. I simultaneously thought of her as a tiny baby and of the many, many times she’ll walk away from me in the future. The tension between memory and anticipation is a hallmark of parenting for me, as well as the profound awareness of time passing.

This is really always fascinating. I particularly liked the take on how names move through the class ranks in Freakonomics.

The whole perfect-girl thing that was referenced in Peggy Orenstein’s princess article (see here) is getting a lot of airtime these days. Huge article in the Sunday Times a few weekends ago on the topic

Nerve-wracking. I have not consciously done so, but when I think about how we schedule Grace’s time, I realize I have totally reacted against over-programming. I am such a huge believer in unscheduled, unstructured time. I am so proud of the fact that on weekend afternoons she plays happily, ALONE, in her room for an hour or two at a time. It is another way in which my parenting has surprised me.

I’ve heard so much about her new school being a pressure cooker, about the numerous and varied stresses on the children, about how early the piles of homework and afterschool commitments pile up. Of course this is not a concern in beginners, but it’s something I want to remain vigilant about and attuned to. I can already see how Grace is a pleaser, her distinct interest in impressing people, and I hope this does not get in the way of her pursuing what her heart desires.

It is an interesting aside that male school success is basically ignored in the media today. I hope this changes as I would think it will eventually have a negative impact on a generation of men.

Random thoughts on a grey and rainy day.

On this day of new beginnings, which are necessarily chaotic, two old but good quotations. Pictures & stories from our extended family celebration to come later. As always, thinking of Nana on Easter. And absolutely loved our new minister’s sermon about Mary Magdalene this morning – I think I finally understand SOME connection between Christianity’s holiest day and the damned Easter eggs.

“Chaos is the score upon which reality is written.”
– Henry Miller

“One must have chaos in oneself in order to give birth to a dancing star.”
– Friedrich W. Nietzsche