The last month, in observations and quotes

It’s been an eventful month.  I’ll write more about what happened, but March was full. Grace, Whit, and I went to Rome (see above), Grace and Whit both decided to leave their current school for new frontiers, Matt settled into his new professional situation, I did some writing, I did some reading. I thought about this blog a lot.  There were two quotes that kept running through my head.

The first: practice, and learning to write.

The mere habit of writing, of constantly keeping at it, of never giving up, ultimately teaches you how to write.

-Gabriel Fielding

It is this blog, and the practice of showing up here day after day, that has taught me to write. I still feel uncomfortable calling myself a writer, but I’m totally ready to say I write. I do. And I learned a lot of what I know here (the rest I learned from a handful of teachers, whom I met through this blog).  The act of doing has taught me a tremendous amount.  For someone who sometimes lives in her head, there’s a lesson in this. That’s a big part of why I personally don’t want to stop. And why I won’t.

From now on, I will write here twice a week, Tuesdays and Thursdays.  Thursdays will be, mostly, quotes.  That’s definitely a new, slower pace, but I think it feels right right now.

The second: new horizons.

“And suddenly you know: It’s time to start something new and trust the magic of beginnings.”

— Meister Eckhart

This is a time of tremendous change for our family.  Both Grace and Whit are headed to new schools in the fall. The fall of 2016 was busy in part because they were both applying out, and we heard decisions, revisited, and made decisions in the last month. This next step is an inexorable step towards the future and a reminder that both children are moving away from me in ways big and small but, unquestionably, permanent. One thing I’ve learned is that apparently-contradictory emotions can coexist within me, even in a single moment, and I’m living that now.  I am delighted by and sorrowful about the changes at the same time.

Matt and I are both in new professional situations.  2017 has been eventful so far and while all the news is good, there is a definite sensation of the ground shifting beneath our feet that is as unsettling as it is exciting. I’m trying to trust in the magic that these beginnings represent, but that’s never been easy for me.

I am clear that it is the right time for all of these new developments, but I’ve never liked change.  The truth is, I feel strapped into life’s roller coaster in a way that makes me fearful. It is beginning to look like spring out the window (photo below was taken at 7:05pm, 4/2/17). I’m trying not to let the reality of what’s coming cloud what is right now. This is not a new challenge for me, but it is without a doubt the defining one of the next several months. Wish me luck. Here we go.

19 thoughts on “The last month, in observations and quotes”

  1. This is all so exciting! And I agree about blogging and the practice of writing. When I stopped blogging completely, my writing suffered….but when I was blogging too much, my writing felt forced and not quite ready for prime time. I am still working on finding that sweet spot of not too little, not too much;) Best of luck in all these new endeavors. Can’t wait to hear about your new adventures. xoxo

  2. I have been waiting to see your words pop up again—of course they were worth the wait.

    “One thing I’ve learned is that apparently-contradictory emotions can coexist within me, even in a single moment, and I’m living that now.”

    Yes.

    Sending you so much love and hope. I am also sending you thanks because your practice of showing up and writing has meant so much to so many of us.

  4. Wow, that’s a lot of change. I don’t have that much change going on, but there are some little shifts happening, and while they are all very good changes, and changes I had hoped for, it still sits a bit uneasily in me. In theory, I like change and crave it, but it also throws me off balance. In a life that is marked by routines, at this stage at least, it’s a bit scary having to go off the map.

    I’m so very happy to see you back here in this space. I wish you and your family the best going forward.

    xoxo

  5. Yayy!! I’m glad to see you back and I love the idea of writing here twice a week. Such a good solution!

    And, Rome is one of my all-time favorites. I’ve been there four times, one of them was our honeymoon. And there’s still so so much more to see.

    Also, congratulations on the courage to make changes (I know it is a double-sided sword, with both excitement and fear heavily involved), and I can’t wait to hear more about it.

    Finally, this: “The act of doing has taught me a tremendous amount. For someone who sometimes lives in their head, there’s a lesson in this.” Maybe one day I’ll get it. 🙂

    Excited for you, and good luck!

  8. Congratulations! My children changed schools this past year and it was one of the best decisions we ever made, wish we had done it sooner. Excited for you guys and anxious to hear about your new business!

  13. I am glad you decided to keep blogging. I too learned to write in public by blogging. Looking back at some of my early work I cringe, but at a book reading in Brattleboro, Vermont I heard Dani Shapiro say the same thing. I had met her a year earlier when she visited the inn my husband and I managed. She sent me an email and told me if she had let her early writing and reviews get her down she wouldn’t be writing today. And look where she is now!

    The quote from Gabriel Fielding is the honest truth. Richard Ford once said, even if you are not a famous writer and have never published a book, when you sit down to write your are the doing the very same thing Chekhov once did.

    Good luck with all your new ventures. It sounds like a very exciting time in the life of your family. I’ve been through numerous changes, good and bad, over the last four years. Change is a fact of life and the ability to put it into words is cathartic.

  15. Wow– yes– tons of change for all four of you. I think your new schedule is so sensible. I’m so happy you’re not leaving this space. It is yours and something beautiful you created that is unlike anyone else’s.

  18. Yea! I am SO thankful you will continue to share your thoughts and observations here. Often your words are just what I needed to hear (read?), whether I knew it or not.

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