Trying to say thank you

In keeping with Grace’s startlingy wise observation recently, that praying is saying thank you, I’m trying to infuse this holiday season with as much gratitude and as little materialism as possible.

Results are, I think, mixed.
For the last several years the children have shared a LEGO advent calendar.  This year I made Grace her own advent calendar. I bought a calendar with empty pockets on etsy, and filled each with a directive for something to do. I got this idea from Ali Edwards, though I wrote most of my own suggestions.  The daily directives include selecting some toys she doesn’t play with anymore for goodwill (something we do approximately monthly anyway), writing a thank you note to someone just because, reading a Christmas book to her brother, and the one she worked on this week, creating a list of ten things she’s thankful for this year.
As you can see, “the world and being alive” just makes the list, under her ipod touch and “all her toys.”  Hmmm.  I suppose there’s some solace in the fact that her friends and four healthy grandparents are above her things.  Still, I think we might need a refresher course that without #10, #1-9 would not exist at all.

My children constantly bemoan the fact that I do not decorate enough for holidays.  They wish I was more like one of my best friends, who celebrates everything with tremendous vigor and enthusiasm.  It’s one of her very best qualities.  This year I’m making an effort.  We have a wreath, hung up with a thick gold ribbon, in the kitchen over the sink.  And we have this garland, which I had made, showcasing some of my favorite Christmas carol lyrics, over the kitchen table.  And there is, like every year, a big boxwood wreath on the front door.  I’m trying!

I had these silhouette ornaments made of each child for our tree.  Grace loves hers.  I also have their silhouettes on pendants that I happened to be wearing today when the ornaments came.  I highly recommend Le Papier Studio‘s work.  I have a big framed silhouette of the children walking away – always, they are walking away – on the wall by my bed.The kids’ school has a new rule that doesn’t allow parents to buy teacher gifts at the holidays.  Instead, Grace and Whit are hand-writing notes to their teachers and decorating them with black and white ink stamps.  Grace’s are neat paragraphs full of her favorite things about her teachers.  Whit’s are more minimalist but no less charming, in my view.

That’s the update from the land where we trip and fall, often, in our efforts to say, adequately, thank you.

8 thoughts on “Trying to say thank you”

  1. We have a similar holiday tradition in our house. It’s called the 25 Days of Christmas. I make enveloppes each year, we hang them, and fill them with a different family activity each day. Because my children are still so young there are days, particularly on weeknights, when the activities are quite simple: dancing to Christmas music, reading Christmas stories, enjoying a hot chocolate and a candy cane. My oldest loves and this year my 22 month old is delighting in opening the enveloppes. I find it makes us slow down a bit in December, and reminds me to focus on what really matters.

    This year we’re making a donation to a local charity as opposed to gifts for teachers. The children in his class are actually putting together a package of gifts for a local family in need. I’m so pleased with how this message is getting reinforced in the classroom.

  2. I don’t know. I think it’s impressive that “the world and being alive” is on the list. After all, in kid’s eyes (or at least my eyes at that age) the world will always be there and they/I will always be alive. Tough concept for a kid.

    My 4 year old just made a “wish” card for Santa this morning. She wished for love. So adorable. Of course, Santa already got her toy wish list last week 🙂

    Paul

  3. I also think that it is quite insightful for a child to be thankful for the world and being alive.

    This year we’ve decided to ask people not give presents during my daughter’s birthday. We are trying to teach her that people and their love are more important than things. I am bracing myself for some tears from her, but I want to do my part in trying to raise a child who doesn’t cling to the material.

  5. I think it’s great that “the world and being alive” is even on the list. There are so many kids today that wouldn’t even think of it. I understand the worry though.. I often think my boys don’t understand what they have and take it for granted.

  8. Thank you for this post. It is a wonderful foil to some of your writing. It lets me see how you LIVE with your children…grounded in the day to day present moment.

    I let your writing wash over me like the waves of the ocean. Sometimes that allows me to be dreamy and other worldly, imagining the essoteric about my life. But like you, I live in each moment with the things I touch, like my children’s heads that walk away.

    This is precious.

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