This morning, driving to camp, Whit pointed through the sunroof and said, “Mummy, the clouds are peaceful.” I turned around, surprised, and said, “Peaceful, Whitty?” And he said, “In pieces.” The sky was mottled with faint clouds. I love clouds, both aesthetically and metaphorically. Whit was right, in both his intended and mistaken observations: the slightly cloudy sky was both peaceful and in pieces.

It was a very random and empty day – actually a privilege, and a treat, though today also a reminder of my failure to find something truly meaningful to do with my life (yet!). I went for a nice run, and listened to my standard weird music en route. What, you don’t think Garth Brooks is running music? Why, you’d be wrong – “If Tomorrow Never Comes” is quite the pick-me-up in fact … I ran thinking about how this is one thing on the very short list of things I am sure and confident about: I don’t hesitate to say how I feel, those I love most deeply really know how I feel. If tomorrow never comes, that isn’t something Garth is going to catch me regretting.

11am at Fresh Pond seems to be Stroller Hour. I ran past countless new moms strolling infants and was struck both by their common shellshocked faces and by how many of them were clutching phones, either talking or texting, clutching their lifelines to the “real world.” Oh, how I remember those days! Of course when Grace was tiny and colicky it was pitch dark at 430 and raw and cold. I recall walking with her in the Bjorn in the late afternoon, talking to Bouff on the phone, my hand freezing into a claw as it clutched the cell against my ear. I remember that the pain in my hand was nothing compared to that in my head and that I felt it was clearly worth it to keep talking to someone from my Old Life!

It’s good that I ran when I did because there was a wild thunderstorm this afternoon. It was dramatic and beautiful and noisy and now the evening has cleared into a placid sunset. Pictures taken just now. This evening as they were this morning, the clouds are both peaceful and in pieces.