It has been a long week over here. Limping around on this bum knee (right leg) – and then today I kicked the crap out of my desk chair, hard enough to take a huge hunk of skin off my toe and make three or four big cuts in my foot (given: left leg). Doesn’t it sound like a great time to go hiking? Stay tuned for more on that.

My mind, unquiet at the best of times, has been in overdrive. Sleeping? Not so great. The children? Not so mellow. You get the picture.

So I decided ’twas high time for a super frivolous post. And what’s better for that than clothes!!?? At dinner the other night one of the Js and I were discussing the categories in our wardrobes.

I see three major categories – and let me preface this by saying that I long, I absolutely pine, to be one of those women with four pairs of pants and four shirts and they just mix and match and look divine all the time. Apparently I am constitutionally incapable of this. I have a closet that, despite an almost ebay power-seller rating, refuses to thin out. It is not monotone (though it does skew heavily black, white, gray, and cream) and it is not particularly unified. I am routinely that cliche of a spoiled brat, standing in her closet, wondering why she can find nothing to wear.

So. Categories. With “insight” (ha!). Don’t hate me because my brain has turned to mush with all the screaming inside of it.

Casual clothes

Probably 40% of wardrobe, worn 75-80% of the time. This is jeans, Juicy sweats, tee shirts (short sleeve in summer and long sleeve cashmere in winter). The tee shirts now are usually of the Star Wars and Twister logo variety, mostly from Gapkids and Old Navy kids. I don’t have any problem fitting into a girls L. I don’t, ahem, need a lot of “room” upstairs. And yes, I like to dress like a 14 year old boy. I also have about 20 white wifebeater tank tops that I wear almost every day (either alone or under other shirts). Also Old Navy or Gap, and replaced regularly.

Summertime is white jeans, winter is dark, both some combo of Paige, Rock and Republic, and True Religion. Footwear is exclusively sneakers (Converse or old running sneakers) or flip-flops (one of my eight – yes, eight – pairs of Jack Rogers if I am really getting dressed up). I don’t much care for shorts other than for running (will I ever do that again?) but I do have a couple of jean skirts, one dark and one white, that I sub in for “variety.” (ha ha ha ha rolling on floor laughing almost as hard as at the awful the jokes Grace brings home from camp daily)

“Work” wear/anywhere I can’t wear sweatpants

Probably 40% of wardrobe, worn 20% of time. This is my array of identical long-for-heels Theory pants, black, brown, gray, blue, and an equivalent array of J Crew ankle length cigarette pants for summer, also in black, khaki, white.

Also here are the 3ish J Crew camisoles I buy every year. That place just does silk camisoles (and, frankly, almost everything else!) right. Not fussy, fit me well, can go under a jacket (for the once-a-year occasion I actually have to don such a thing) or with jeans (the rest of the year).

Random jackets that I wear to my actual job, J Crew, Rebecca Taylor, Tuleh (from ebay, people, from ebay). A bunch of solid color sheath dresses that are all variations on the precise same shape (newest find is ivory boucle from Target, rather fabulous for the price if I do say so myself) and several DVF wrap dresses.

Footwear here is either real heels or flats. I simply do not do kitten heels, mid heels, low heels. I realize this is the M Obama go-to, and this is a place where, like the belting of everything, I will choose to respectfully disagree with her.

Cocktail/dressy attire

20% of wardrobe, of 0-5% of the time. During my one wonderful summer working as a buyer in New York, I overheard an expression that I just love. One of the other buyers bemoaned that she kept “buying clothes for a life she didn’t have.” And that is me with the cocktail dresses. I love me a simple pretty little dress. Sadly I never wear them. But there they are, lined up in the closet, mostly variations on strapless or spaghetti straps, knee length, straight but not tight. I’m a creature of habit!

And here is where the sparkly high heeled sandals live too (also gathering dust).

On this sadly unimpressive, almost unintelligible note I will go. To put on a pair of sweat pants, a tank top, and continue on my very unfashionable way.